How to Know If You and Your Therapist Are a Good Fit?

Finding the right therapist is about more than just their qualifications—it’s about feeling heard, understood, and comfortable. A good fit means that you feel respected and safe in the space, and that you can be open and honest without judgment. You should feel like your therapist genuinely listens to you, offers useful insights, and collaborates with you to explore solutions or new ways of thinking. It’s also important that you feel a sense of trust and that the therapy process feels productive, with progress you can feel, even if it’s small steps. If something doesn’t feel right, it’s completely okay to talk to your therapist about it or even explore finding someone else who may be a better fit. Therapy is personal, and you deserve to feel that it’s supporting your growth in the way you need.

How to Know If You’ve Found a Good Fit with Your Therapist

  1. You Feel Comfortable and Safe
    A good fit means you feel able to speak openly and honestly without fear of judgment. Your therapist should create a space where you feel emotionally safe and supported to share your thoughts and feelings.

  2. You Feel Heard and Understood
    When your therapist listens actively and empathically, it should feel like they truly understand your perspective. You shouldn’t have to repeat yourself constantly, and it should feel like they get you.

  3. You’re Making Progress
    Therapy is about growth. Even if it’s slow, you should be able to notice small signs of progress—whether it’s gaining more insight into yourself, developing new coping skills, or starting to feel more at ease.

  4. The Therapy Process Feels Collaborative
    You should feel like you’re working together with your therapist. Therapy isn’t a one-sided process, and your therapist should ask questions, give feedback, and help guide you without making you feel like you’re being lectured.

  5. You Feel a Sense of Trust
    Trust is key. If you trust your therapist, you’ll feel more comfortable being open with them, which is essential for meaningful progress. If you don’t feel like you can trust them, it may be a sign to explore a different fit.

  6. You Can Be Yourself
    A good fit means that you can show up as your authentic self. Whether you’re feeling vulnerable, messy, or on top of the world, you should be able to express yourself without fear of being misunderstood or invalidated.

  7. You’re Comfortable with Their Approach
    Therapists may use different techniques depending on their approach. Whether it’s a more structured method or a flexible, holistic approach, you should feel comfortable with how they work and that their style suits you.

  8. You Feel Encouraged and Supported
    While it’s normal to have difficult sessions, a good therapist should encourage and support you. They should provide tools and resources to help you manage your challenges and empower you to move forward.

  9. You’re Engaged in the Process
    You should feel engaged in the process and motivated to attend sessions. If you’re consistently excited (or at least willing) to go, it’s a sign you’re on the right track. If you’re dreading it or feeling disconnected, it might be worth exploring a different approach or therapist.

  10. It Feels Like the Right Time
    If the timing of therapy feels right for you—whether it’s because you’re ready to work on something specific or you just feel you’re in a good place to start—you’ll likely find a better fit. Trust your instincts about when it feels like the right moment to dive in.